A Children's Play

Peggy the Pint Sized Pirate

by

D. M. Larson

Copyright (c) 2003

All Rights Reserved

Cast of Characters

PEGGY

SCUMMY - young pirate who says mean things to PEGGY

CAPTAIN SLUDGE

CAPTAIN SOGGY

GRUNT - wise old pirate who speaks mysteriously

SEA MONSTER

MOM MONSTER

EXTRAS - Other pirates

Scene 1 - A pirate's cove for games and grub

Scene 2 - An island where the Sea Monster lurks

SCENE 1

(PEGGY is a very small pirate girl who is anxious to be a big pirate. PEGGY enters pirate's cove and sees Pirates playing various games and enjoying grub. Everyone is much bigger than she is and she looks out of place)

PEGGY

                                                   (To audience)

Hi, I'm Peggy. Peggy the... Well, I don't have a true pirate name yet.

                                                            SCUMMY

                                                              (To PEGGY)

             Sure you do. It's Peggy the Pint Sized Pirate.

             (Others laugh and then go back to their games)

                                                            PEGGY

Yes, that's what they call me. Peggy the Pint Sized Pirate. But I'm tired of it. I won't stand for it anymore.

                                                            SCUMMY

Won't stand for it? I thought you were sitting down.

                                                            PEGGY

I'm so tired of short jokes. Anyway, Today is my big day. I finally was going to be a pirate. I've dreamed about this day since I was little. 

                        (SCUMMY looks at her)

Well, I'm still little... and I'm still dreaming. But finally the day has come. I'm going to do it. I'm going to be a pirate.

                      
(SCUMMY laughs at her and then points to CAPTAINS who enter)

                                                            SCUMMY

                                Line em up!

(Pirates line up. PEGGY gets stuck behind the other pirates and hops around trying to see. She slips in between two of them)

CAPTAIN SOGGY

We need two crews for a treasure run to Tucson.

PEGGY

                              Tuscon?                            

(PEGGY gets pushed back and hops around behind)

CAPTAIN SLUDGE

I get first pick. I'll take Bob the Brave

(BOB happily lines up behind SLUDGE)

CAPTAIN SOGGY

I'll take Sue the Smelly.

(Everyone steps back so SUE can move over by SOGGY who notices her odor. SLUDGE and SOGGY continue picking pirates during the following:)

                                                            PEGGY

I was so excited. This was the first time I tried out for a pirate crew. Captain Sludge had the fastest pirate around. Everyone was anxious to be with Sludge when the sea speed record of 1812 was broken. And then Captain Soggy was great too. Soggy had the only pirate ship that would go underwater. Really! But after more and more pirates were picked, I got worried because no one was picking me.

                                                            CAPTAIN SLUDGE

And I'll take Scummy the Sweet.

        
(SCUMMY sticks tongue out at PEGGY and lines up with others)

That's it then.

(Pirates all start to talk and go with CAPTAINS)

                                                            PEGGY

Wait! What about me?!

  (Everyone stops and stares at PEGGY. Then they laugh)

                                                            SCUMMY

No way, shrimp.

                                                            CAPTAIN SOGGY

                                      (Pats PEGGY on head)

                        Maybe when you're bigger.

                                                            SCUMMY

Right, that will happen.

                                                            CAPTAIN SLUDGE

Better stay here and let the big brave pirates go. We don't want you to get hurt.

                                                            CAPTAIN SOGGY

We can't handle screaming little girls on ships with sea monster afoot.

(Pirates leave and PEGGY sits by herself all upset)

                                                            PEGGY

Now I'll never be a pirate.

                        (PEGGY cries)

                                                            GRUNT

                                   (Old GRUNT enters)

           What's this boo-hooing I hear?

                                                            PEGGY

No one wants me to be a pirate. They think I'm too little.

                                                            GRUNT

Do they now?

                                                            PEGGY

Everyone laughed at me and said I'd be scared. I'm not scared of anything. And I wouldn't cry...

                        (Wipes away tears)

I'm not afraid of any sea monsters.

                        (Cries again)

Who am I kidding? I am too little.

                                                            GRUNT

You're not little at all you know.

                                                            PEGGY

What? Can't you see me? I'm tiny.

                                                            GRUNT

There's something I can see that's bigger than any pirate I know. Something that you'll have to see on your own.

                                                            PEGGY

I don't get it. What do you mean?

                                                            GRUNT

Give it time, Peggy and you'll see.

                                                            PEGGY

                        (Throwing a fit)

But I wanna be big now!!!!!!

                        (Jumps around and screams)

                                                            GRUNT

                        (Waits for PEGGY to stop)

Feel better?

                                                            PEGGY

                        (Calm)

Actually, yes. Thank you.

                                                            GRUNT

Very soon you'll get your chance to see what you have that is greater than most.

                                                            PEGGY

Well, I'm not moving from this spot until I find out.

                                                            GRUNT

Stubborn aren't we?

                                                            PEGGY

Peggy the Stubborn. Naw, doesn't sound right.

                                                            GRUNT

Patience Peggy. Your moment will come.

                        (GRUNT leaves)

                                                            PEGGY

Old people saw the weirdest things. Me being big? Now? But how? So I stayed here and waited for an answer. And it didn't take long.

                                                            SCUMMY

                        (Runs in)

Ahh! The horror! The horror!

                                                            PEGGY

What is it, Scummy?

                                                            SCUMMY

Both ships are gone. Destroyed.

                                                            PEGGY

But how?

                                                            SCUMMY

The sea monster!

                                                            PEGGY

Really? And the pirates couldn't stop them.

                                                            SCUMMY

They tried but the monster is too powerful. Both ships are gone forever.

                                                            PEGGY

How did you survive?

                                                            SCUMMY

I hid in a barrel when I saw the monster coming.

                                                            PEGGY

You hid? That's not very piratey.

                                                            SCUMMY

Please don't tell.

                        (SCUMMY runs and hides)

                                                            CAPTAIN SLUDGE

                        (Enters with CAPTAIN SOGGY)

I can't believe our ships are gone.

                                                            CAPTAIN SOGGY

And the entire crew was captured.

                                                            PEGGY

What are you going to do?

                                                            CAPTAIN SLUDGE

What can we do?

                                                            CAPTAIN SOGGY

Maybe I'll open up a little sea side resort.

                                                            PEGGY

You can't give up. What about your crew? You must save them.

                                                            CAPTAIN SLUDGE

Sorry, but I'm not going out there again. Not with that monster out there.

                                                            CAPTAIN SOGGY

And I could serve soda pop and soup with little tiny umbrellas in them.

                                                            PEGGY

So you're both a couple of chickens.

                        (Both CAPTAINS stop and stare at her)

                                                            CAPTAIN SLUDGE

What did you say?

                                                            PEGGY

Chickens.

                        (Acts like a chicken)

Brock, brock, brock.

                                                            CAPTAIN SOGGY

I could put chicken between two slices of bread. Someone showed me that on the Sandwich Islands.

                        (CAPTAIN SOGGY exits)

                                                            CAPTAIN SLUDGE

Fine. You think you're so brave. Then you be captain and take care of that sea monster yourself.

                        (Sticks huge captain hat on PEGGY and it covers her head)

Best of luck to you, Captain.

                        (Laughs and exits)

                                                            PEGGY

                        (Pulls off hat)

Captain? Was he serious? Even if he wasn't, it doesn't matter. Someone has to save those pirates.

                        (Grabs SCUMMY out of hiding)

Come on, Scummy. We're going to save some pirates.

SCENE 2

(Lights come up on an island where the sea monster lives. PEGGY and SCUMMY enter. SCUMMY is terrified)

                                                            PEGGY

I took a little boat with only Scummy to help row. We followed the trail of wrecked ships until we made our way to this little island that must be the sea monsters lair.

                                                            SCUMMY

I don't think this is a good idea, Peggy.

                                                            PEGGY

Yes, you said that about a hundred times on the way over. But someone has to save these pirates.

                                                            SCUMMY

And what makes you think we can do it?

                                                            PEGGY

Because I can do anything I put my mind to.

(Roaring sound off stage. SEA MONSTER uses microphone for big sound)

                                                            SCUMMY

What's that?

                                                            PEGGY

I don't know.

                        (Roaring sound again)

                                                            SCUMMY

There is was again.

                        (Roaring)

Let's get out of here.

                                                            PEGGY

But I don't see anything.

                                                            SCUMMY

(A huge shadow appears behind them. Shadow is cast using a cut out behind a light or by the SEA MONSTER standing being a spotlight. SCUMMY sees it)

Ahh! Run!

                        (SCUMMY runs)

                                                            PEGGY

Scummy! Get back here.

                        (PEGGY stands ready and faces the shadow)

I guess it's up to me.

                        (Bravely calls out)

Show yourself sea monster. I'm ready for you!

                                                            SEA MONSTER

                        (Roars. Off)

You better run little pirate before I eat you.